Wednesday, March 9, 2011

March Spotlight - B-Jo Laing-Dumler

Our March spotlight is B-Jo Laing-Dumler. B-Jo has been part of our group since the beginning. She is a talented, happy person, and since she will be helping us out with a few thing over the next 6 months, I thought it would be fun to get to know her a little bit better. Enjoy the interview!



SISTER SURVIVORS: "What were you diagnosed with, and what treatments did you have? Who were your doctors?"

B-JO: "I was diagnosed with stage one breast cancer, I had two types, ductal and invasive. I am also HER2+. I had a mastectomy on Dec 2, 2009, port implant Dec 28, 2009 and first round of chemo Dec 29, 2009. I did four rounds of chemo; Cytoxin and Taxotere, along with Herceptin. I did the Herceptin treatments for a year (actually it went longer than a year, my last one of those was Feb 15, 2011). I had my tissue expander placed in July, (the 22nd, I believe) and the rest of my reconstruction was postponed from October, but is happening March 10th. I also get to have my port removed--wa-hoo!!!!! So, I am almost at the end, I am so excited. I had Dr. Tittensor, whom I believe truly saved my life. If she hadn't been such a caring doctor, willing to treat despite the lack of insurance and willing to remove an infectious growth from my breast, I might not have found out about the cancer until it was too late. She also performed my mastectomy and my port placement. Dr. Wendy Breyer is my oncologist. I did all of my chemo treatments at IV therapy at AF hospital, but I was able to do some of my Herceptin treatments at the cancer clinic next door. Dr. Bishop will be doing my reconstruction, he has taken exceptional care of me.

SISTER SURVIVORS: "How did your cancer diagnosis affect your family and friends?"

B-JO: "It was hardest on my husband, he had lost his parents earlier in the year, his mother (actually grandmother, but his grandparents raised him so he thinks of them as mom and dad) passed in April 2009 and his dad in July 2009. The day I found out (November 17) I called to tell him about my visit and he was kind of being a jerk to me on the phone, so instead of being nice I just told him I had cancer and how did he like that. One of us hung up on the other, but I do not recall which. When I finally convinced him I was not dying he did a little better. I think it was really hard, cause he is the one who is sick and has to go to the hospital, not me, so seeing me this way was really hard for him. Most of my friends and family rallied for me, and in a way, it has made me a stronger person, although, I have noticed when people tell me how much they admire me and my strength, it is usually when I am feeling at my weakest. I have also made so many new friends in the club we did not ask to be a part of, but is exclusive to us. I know that much of my strength comes from those who have prayed on my behalf, if not for that I would not have made it."

SISTER SURVIVORS: "What was the hardest thing you had to go through during your cancer journey? What helped get you through it?"

B-JO: "I am currently going through some of my most difficult right now. As hard as it was to be diagnosed, as hard as chemo was, it wasn't nearly as awful as I thought, as hard as other moments have been. Recently I have been dealing with anxiety and depression and a little feeling of worthlessness. I keep telling Satan to get out of my head, but I was diagnosed with depression ten years ago and have been off on medication that time. I am currently on meds, but winter is always harder for me than any other time of year. I think last year I had to focus all my energies on getting through chemo and that helped to distract me. This year, there has been uncertainty, and it has been more difficult, my husband's health is getting worse too, and that plays a roll as well."

SISTER SURVIVORS: "How did your cancer diagnosis change your life?"

B-JO: "My mom had always told my brother and I while we were growing up, that cancer wasn't so much an 'if' but a 'when'. We had too much familial history of different kinds of cancers. And while I may not have an immediate or direct family history of breast cancer it is still a possibility. I can remember being in my early twenties and hearing of a girl my age being diagnosed and worrying that it might happen to me. Actually having cancer and having it caught early on, it made me realize the Lord has his own plans and I am blessed to have my life. There is a plan for me and I have something to accomplish in this life."

SISTER SURVIVORS: "What did you learn during your cancer journey?"

B-JO: "I am capable of a lot more than I thought, and while things may seem bad for me, there is a chance that someone is worse off. While I knew this before, it was reiterated time and time again. Also, one very big lesson, I am loved and I am worth something to someone somewhere.

SISTER SURVIVORS: "What have you changed as a result of your cancer diagnosis?"

B-JO: "Not as much as I feel I should, in fact there are some areas where I feel like I have backslid somewhat. There are things I want to change, but I am not sure if it is fear or laziness that is stopping me. I do feel like after my surgery, I am having a new start again, so, I hope to make some big changes, but in little steps.

SISTER SURVIVORS: "Do you have a favorite book, quote, or song that became meaningful to you during your cancer journey?"

B-JO: :I'm not sure if there is one thing. I know that I will sometimes hear a song or see a show, that I had heard or seen before, and it will hit me just a little differently. I am still the same B-Jo, I am learning and growing all the time. Whether it is going forward or back is up to me and I have done both, even after diagnosis. But please remember, I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve and I can cry at the drop of a hat. I cannot watch animal movies, and almost every time I see the flag or hear the National Anthem, I cry, from pride, from sorrow for those who have given their lives, over babies born, over death. I am a crybaby, but I probably would not have me any other way."

SISTER SURVIVORS: "What advice would you give to a woman who is newly diagnosed with breast cancer?"

B-JO: "If you need to cry, do it. If you have questions, research or ask someone, don't blindly follow what they tell you. Trust your instincts, and somebody somewhere is likely worse off than you are. Don't wish this on anyone, but don't feel like you won't make it through yourself. You are strong, there is hope, and God will care for you no matter what."

SISTER SURVIVORS: "What advice would you give to friends and family of a newly diagnosed breast cancer patient?"

B-JO: "If she says she want to eat something crazy, let her. If she's tired, let her rest. If she needs to cry, be her shoulder. If she needs to vent, be her ear. If she cannot stand the smell of something, don't use it around her, or get it out of the house. If she says she cannot, tell her she can!"

SISTER SURVIVORS: "Finish this sentence… “I am a…”

B-JO: "...a child of God, a daughter, an aunt, a woman, a friend, I am sensitive, emotional, caring, eclectic, funny, weird, but I am a survivor and I will go on!"